I Signed Up For Team in Training

When my dad was going through chemotherapy, Ashley (my wife) introduced me to Team in Training. We both wanted to do it but we had different ideas about which endurance challenge we should do. Ashley wanted to start with a half-marathon since we hadn't done anything like it before. I wanted desperately to do the cycling century but I didn't have a bicycle. I hate running. Maybe I didn't emphasize that enough. I HATE RUNNING. Even with my immense hate of running, I was willing to do a marathon in order to support my dad. I've always thought that you should go all out or not go out at all. I know that I could train for a half-marathon in a couple months so I was unwilling to take on an event that I didn't think would challenge us enough. Ashley was unwilling to take on a full marathon so we tabled it and decided to get back to it later.

Later never happened. Life got away from us and every session I'd think about what Team in Training was up to but it didn't seem as though it was the right time. I'd think, if I wait till the next session, maybe that will be the right time. Maybe we wont have kids needing my time. Maybe Ashley wont be expecting. I have a bike now, maybe next session it wont be in Arizona. There were always excuses to keep me from taking part.

I brought up joining Team in Training this year and it wasn't right because we have a newborn at home. The time away for cycling would spread us further apart as a family. I'm always glued to the computer in the morning and evening. Ashley was not a fan of the idea and I signed up anyways.

There were all these reasons not to join Team in Training this year but on top of all of the reasons was an overwhelming sense that NOW IS THE TIME. None of us know how much time we have on this earth so I don't know if later will ever get here. What I do know is that I'm capable of doing something NOW. I can fight cancer by getting donations for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and their search for a cure. I can do this in support of myself as a survivor and in memory of the father that was taken from me. I can do this to support all those that are now battling cancer and for the families of those battling. I can do this so that maybe just one person wont have to know the loss I feel.

The Beginning

At the tender age of 19, having just graduated high school I discovered that I had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. The path to this discovery started out simple enough. I was a 19 year old kid, addicted to using the Internet, and my mom asked me to see the doctor because I seemed lethargic. You can probably imagine my response. It was something like, "You're crazy mom". It took her swearing to never ask again before I went to the doctor and I was immensely positive that there was no problem.

Imagine my surprise when I walked in and the first thing the doctor said was, "I think your neck looks swollen." Uhh... okay? So I got sent for a series of ultrasounds and then CT scans.

Imagine it's June 1992, the day I'm supposed to be finding out what the heck they think is wrong with me. I'm at work as a lifeguard at the YMCA in Lakewood, WA and I call home to find out what the doctor said. The response was, "Well talk about it when you get home." Alarming. Next I request emergency time to go home from my boss Jonathan and got the big, "NO". So I worked until my shift was up, went home, and was told that doctors believed I had cancer.

The next day, a Saturday, Dr. Alfred Chan was kind enough to come in on his day off so that he could do a bone marrow biopsy on me and get the process started. I'll skip the details of that but suffice it to say that one should NEVER claim you have a high tolerance for pain when a doctor is asking if he can scrape around inside your bones with two-handed needles.

The diagnosis came back soon afterwards, "stage IIIb non-hodgkins lymphoma" and so began my ongoing fight with cancer.

It took six months of chemotherapy with treatments two weeks on and two weeks off each month till I was in remission. There were also massive doses of prednisone to support my almost non-existent immune system, a 2 week stay in the hospital at one point after getting DVT, huge amounts of weight gain--damn prednisone, and more fun. It was hard but I got through it.

I say "got through it" because I survived. I didn't feel like I beat cancer then, I don't feel like I beat cancer now, and I don't know if I'll ever feel like I beat cancer.  But damn it, I'm going to try.