Luck

Lately I've been hearing a lot about Ashley's cancer. Usually it's something like...

You're lucky it's only thyroid cancer.

You're lucky that it's 100% treatable.

You're lucky that it's usually contained to only the thyroid.

You're lucky that it should just be an inconvenience.

...

If I went by how everyone else feels, I'd certainly go play the lotto, win few million, and go retire some place hot. Unfortunately I live in the real world where I understand that no one that gets cancer is "lucky". There is no amount of "luck" involved in finding out you have a disease that can kill you. If we were lucky, we wouldn't have gotten cancer to begin with.

The meaning of what people are trying to say doesn't escape me. I know people are trying to give Ashley hope that it's treatable, beatable, and just an inconvenience. That's really nice of people to attempt but I wish it were delivered in another way without the word "lucky".

I've made similar mistakes myself when trying to compliment Ashley. About a week before we found out Ashley really did have cancer I said something like, "You're looking really slim and hot." The fact that I was trying to compliment her wasn't lost on her but it did cause us both to think of the reality that it was probably because she had cancer. I guess weight loss because you have a deadly disease makes complimenting it taboo. I guess "luck" is similar because I'm pretty sure that Ashley wishes to never have this type of luck again.

On the other hand, there is some luck that I'd like to have. For example, if we're lucky...

Our kids will graduate college

I'll stay at the same job for another 22 years

We'll eventually move to a house we plan on living in till we die

We wont get sick anymore

We'll die from our parts wearing out

I'll never get hit on my bicycle

I'll manage to get Ashley to ride a bicycle

As for the "luck" that everyone thinks we have. If you want to comment on it try to be more personal with your delivery. Maybe you can say something like, "I'm glad that it should be treatable" or "I hope it's contained to only your thyroid like it is in 50% of cases."

Then, you can think of us, go play the lotto, and if you do have "luck"... give me half of your winnings. It's only fair. :-)

Kevin